Soon You'll Understand;

"I don't want you to hate me this is about us, Rather Me; I ain't ready to be what you want me to be"

As I woke up this morning and I got ready I decided to change my status to " This should be an interesting day =["..upside down smile indeed... I decided to go see my ex's sister/family today. I greeted him ofcourse because we were good. but it kinda felt awkward. The type of person I am I said "Hi" ofcourse and went into the living room. So his sister and I went to go chitchat. His mother comes out and she was excited to see me because I haven't seen her in forever. she asked me hw was doing and blah blah. Then ofcourse she asked about her son and if he knows i'm here and i told her 'Yes I greeted him." and the sister was "You tryna make them work it out"... and I was like its not going to happen. and got quiet. It's nice that they like me and everything it's just hard for me to be with someone who I cant see myself spending the rest of my life with. I use to see the reflection but just cant anymore. ....... As I was trying to say my goodbye to him it took more time than I thought. Idk why I thought it wouldnt be like this bc i was feeling sooo goood. But when I was in his presence it was a whole different scenario. I kept my cool and everything but as time passed by we kept laughing and joking then end up arguing over our ex'relationship. then he started playing music then I ended up just crying. Idk why. Maybe because the music he was playing I felt what they were saying or I'm just a very emotional person. I really didnt think I was. But with him its a different story. He makes me soo weak. Maybe because his the only guy I ever known.OR The only guy I've Loved BUT that shouldnt be my excuse. My day has turned upside down. I cant stop thinking about the situation. this really sucks. I just need to go back to the mindstate i've been having lately.

Get it together
Get it together
Get it together.

I'm done with fussing with him through text messages. I'm tired of being sad whenever he comes into my life. its either that or stressing me out. I know I dont need that inmy life. Just let me go. I wish I went to Africa. All this nonsense is not neccesary.

"She used to love you, but she feeling different today"

Dear; Y.O.U

Hi , How are you doing?..I hope your doing well. By the way im doing just Great. I wanted to take the time and write you this. Ever sincce the first day you stepped into this life of mines. You changed my world. It began with teaching and ended with a lesson of a lifetime. I've grown up into this beautiful young lady ever since you left. I dont get to see your ever soo glistening face like i use to. In a way it's great because now I can walk with my own two feet instead of you holding my hand while I walk.I've never had someone come in my life and change it this much. Well maybe i have but not like you I know that for a fact. With everything that has happened between us good or bad. iT'S been a lesson in life. Sometimes in life you think you are truly ready for something but YOU ARE NO WHERE NEAR THERE. you know ive battled with millions of times. Always felt like i was the loser. but honeslty This time I've Outshined in ways that you will never recognize because you arent on my level. I am sorry I couldnt be the one to make you realize the beautiful lesson you taught me.

"Flower's need water to grow, it gotta rain, and in order to experience joy, you need pain, everytime a baby is born, somebodies slain, you know the sayin, someones lost is anothers gain"

"

my summerful days ;)

Well we all know that my summer has started long ago and lately I haven't been really doing anything besides chilling with sunshine ;)..she offers great laughs. I can honestly tell you I'm enjoying myself just because I dont have to go to school and worry about the work. A lot of problems I've been having since forever have finally been lifted off my shoulders. I thank God for that.=] I have noticed the past year how alot of things changed in my life because of a certain somebody came into my life. It changed everything. You know sometimes your blinded and you dont even know it. But its up to you to realize afterwards or much better during. It's nothing to be proud of honestly. I'm just glad that I learned from it. Things are much better now. Way better ;).. I'm too golden right now you dont even understand. Honestly because there was this one person in my life that God has recently blessed me with. They kept reminding me how much this isnt worth it. How God has better things in store for me. & Honestly I can tell you that every word this person had fed me i soaked it in. It's on a constant repeat whenever I'm down or reminscing or whatever it may be. Their word playback and I'm back on Golden.

Tseday =]

I know how to spell "Tuesday" okay. I got that from a book I reead along time ago. Tseday was the name of this Ethiopian Lady's name and it stood out to me.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was beautiful day out. So "We" took an adventure to the park. We spent like 2+ hours together. Pretty sweet. I enjoyed it. Well here are some pictures from my celly. Since my digital Cam. is no where in sight.

Fly.

took a ship to my soul
went on red light green light
switch

Why.
He found venus.

So he said lets travel to Mars.
Why ??
She was in AWE. confused ...
"E.T wants to go home." he said.



Goneeeer!
Just like that

Bittersweet GoodByes.

untitled.

Theres a shadow on the horizon where questions and answers meet; a shadowy figure that I can hardly make out...at first I just stand in the distance and blink wondering if this image is just a mirage but theres just sumthin about this vast open space that just yearns to be explored like the yellow brick road that leads to Oz. The cause of this attraction?....surely curiosity??!!. See theres nuthin like the power of a mystery to take a mans mind and flip it into overdrive, and the allure of this one is much too much to walk away from...so what do I do?...I proceed towards this silhouette in the distance or rather the finish line to my journey in hopes of being embraced by it when I reach it...along my pilgrimage I see signs of just who or what this thing maybe and even discover a name written on a beautiful oak tree...the most magestic and unique name I've ever had the pleasure of reading...the tree read "maymuna" so I added it to my memory bank and trudged on through every harsh element mother nature could throw at me willing myself to brave through it all in order to reach my goal....I fealt more and more complete with each step and when I finally reached my destination I was greeted by a black and white photo of a beautiful queen wit a smile and message left on a podium that read "ROAD MAP TO MY DESTINY" and on the back I wrote a reply that said "HOPEFULLY A PLACE WHERE AN EX DOES NOT MARK THE SPOT"....and feeling partially fulfilled I turned towards the place I once stood at the beginning of my journey and started my return home with hope in my heart that maybe when u returned to ur podium that the map would lead u to me...and that maybe, just maybe my name would join the one on the side of that oak tree complete with heart and and an arrow and that portrait of u along side of one of me.

J.T =)

and its six minutes till the show :)

Sunshine or MoonLight? Maybe Both. Tuesday May 5,2009

Also known as Cinco de Mayo. I had a review session today for my math class. After that,I went to the 7th floor to go give XXXX some chapter for PolySci.He was lookin nice as always. But His breath was soooo harsh. Sorry. I felt like going in my bag and Offering him some orbit so his breath can be fresh as his outfit. I CANNOT stand when guys have bad breath.That is a huge turn off. I do not care how sexy you are. Anyways...... So I decided to go see AfricanSunshine ;)..Out of nowhere. It was a last Minute Idea. but it was worth it because I enjoyed my time with her. wELL let me back up a bitz. I caught the 77 ..(number tooo lucky) and walked to the "Mooody Towers" ...waited for her in the COMMONS. Her friends"Hangout Spot"..yeah anyways... Then I met the MORGAN. she's been telling me about. We ended up going to Subways after a while of chitchatting & showing me a video of her "Funny" part & the rest is Boring. suuuuureee.LoL..JK. .... Then I got to meet her dudey(AO.Courtney.ML)friends. The Csite Was kind of nice. Funny time. We are evil!! clowin on everyoneee. It WAS JUST REALL FUNNY. especially when that Barney lookin girl came talking to AO. ......The atomsphere of the school is really nice..Or maybe is it that it was a good time with her. Whatever it was I had a gooood time...

MuMuMu;)

Munaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

thats my na na na na name

say it twiceeee

Yes, its niceeeeee!

:)

yesterdays & tomorrows.

See,

(Me & I )

(i)Pssss.... Can I tell you a secret?

...

(ME)please do!

(I)I am in love with Yesterdays.

(me) .... Why..

(i)....because I am afraid of Tomorrows.

See here ,the problem with I is. I am in love with yesterday. I can sit here and tell you all my fondest memories. So stuck in the past. I need a vacuum to suck up all these memories i keep inside this oh so lovely brain of mine ;)

....but WHAT IS A YESTERDAY WITHOUT A TOMORROW?!...

..

ME lookS forward to tomorrow.

Tomorrow heals the pain yesterday brought.

SaLaam ;)

where the Heart is.

I am
missing you!
my soul & Spirit.

Let me get high off your Oxygen.
please please.

Even if all is not well.

I just want to run my fingers.

through your soul.

Allow me.

Why won't you?

My heart yearns for you.