Sunday, August 30, 2009

kept my feelings underground.

"Just Want You Around"

I just want you around
I just want you around
I just want you around
I just want you around

Thought that I had lost you
I can hardly make a sound
When I thought I couldn't hold you
Knew the world had let me down
Should have took the time to tell you
You keep my feet on the ground
I hope that you can hear me
Cause I know its not profound

I just want you around
I just need you around
I just want you around
I just need you around

When I thought I was without you
I got used to being down
It was my fault I used to doubt you
But that aint me next time around
Please believe me when I tell you
Cause all my words are bound
This is my cross now let me bare it
I was lost but now I'm found-found-found

I just want you around
I just need you around
I just want you around
I just need you around

Took this love for granted
Kept my feelings underground
Should have watered what I planted
Should have known what I have found
I'm not used to being lonely
I don't like the way it sounds
You're the only one I know-yeah
Who don't turn my upside-down

I just want you around
I just need you around
I just want you around
I just need you around
Yeah I want you around
I just need you around .......

How beautiful is fruit still in denial of its roots?

othing can be done against the truth
No matter how we remain in denial, yeah
Wasting time
Replacing time
With each empty excuse
But that'll only work a little while
Coping with despair
Knowing you're not there
Ashamed to just admit
I've been a fool
So I blame it on the Sun
Run away from everyone
Hoping to escape this ridicule
Trapped in misery
Wrapped so miserably
In this deception that im wearing like a skin

Dying to mantain
Oh I keep trying to explain
A heart that never loved me to begin
Oh I'm such a mess
I have no choice but to confess
That I've been desperately trying to belong
Lying to myself
And everybody else
Refusing to admit my right was wrong
How beautiful is fruit still in denial of its roots?
My guilty heart behaved so foolishly
This treason from within
That reasons with my sin
Won't be happy til it sees the death of me
Selfishly addicted
To a life that I depicted
Conflicted cuz it's not reality
Oh what's left of me
I beg you desperately
Cause me to agree with what I know is best for me
Please save me from myself
I need You to save me from myself
Please save me from myself so I can heal

The choices that Ive made
Oh have been nothing but mistakes
What a wasted use of space
Should I die before I wake?
In all of my religion
I've fortified this prison
Obligated to obey
The demands of bad decisions

Please save me from myself
I need You to save me from myself
Please save me from myself so I can heal.

Caught up in emotion.


"Adam Lives In Theory"

Adam lives in theory
Trying to turn stone into bread
Masquerading like he got it figured out
Cut off from the sunshine, only smart in his own head
Leaving his descendants to hope and doubt
Left to his devices, those worth the sacrifices
Praying to the alter of himself
Making pilgrimages, thinking he's religious
Like he's got all the light, and no one else

He takes the unsuspected
Cause he knows they're not connected
And he shows them how to be just as he is
Virtually real, and commercially appealed
To the lust of all the people where he lives

Eve was so naive, blinded by the pride and greed
Wanting to be intellectual
Drifting from the way she got turned down one day
And now she thinks that she's bisexual

Caught up in emotion
Burning up in her devotion
To the king of exploitation in the field
She handed him her virtue
Cause he told her "I won't hurt you"
So she lay with him to see how good it feels

Now can you tell me, what, what we gonna do now
Where we gonna go now, what we gonna say now
Now can you tell me, what, what we gonna do now
Where we gonna go now, what we gonna say now

Now after the sensation, and the empty fornication
She brought affection home into her bed, quickly multiplying
Now the 3 of them are dying by the poison she perceived to be good head
Now Eve and her husband are perverted in their judgment
Cause everything appears to be the same
They entertain suggestion,
Next time just use protection

Desiring to cover up their shame
But much to their demise, poor decision closed their eyes
To the very antidote to their dilemma
Burning in their lust,
Both of them adulterous
Destroying the original agenda
Praying to the sky, in order to maintain a lie
They exhausted every possible conclusion,
They can't even entertain the solution,
In a brain filled with vain information and pollution

Hiding from the truth,
He provided an excuse to explain away his desperate situation
When confronted, blamed his wife
Giving birth to carnal life
Refusing to acknowledge what he done

Now if we can agree with who created us to be
Who says we're guilty everyone before his eyes
Making no exceptions, since the day of our conception
Predisposed to hating truth, and loving lies

Then can you tell me, what, what we gonna do now
Where we gonna go now, what we gonna say now
Then can you tell me, what, what we gonna do now
Where we gonna go now, what we gonna say now

Stop walking in pride, let the thief be crucified
Un-learn everything you know, and let him teach you
Line upon line, precept upon precept, say goodbye,
To this decaying social system
He wants to know, how far we're willing to go
If we love him like we say we do,
He will try us

Just don't regress,
Or slip into hopelessness
Once he's satisfied his love,
He won't deny us,

And then he'll tell us,
What, what we gonna do now
Where we gonna go now, what we gonna say now

Saturday, August 29, 2009

you just lost one.

It's funny how money change a situationMiscommunication leads to complicationMy emancipation don't fit your equationI was on the humble, you - on every station
Some wan' play young Lauryn like she dumb
But remember not a game new under the sun
Everything you did has already been done
I know all the tricks from Bricks to Kingston
My ting done made your kingdom wan' run
Now understand L. Boogie's non-violent
But if a thing test me, run for mi gun
Can't take a threat to mi newborn son
L's been this way since creation
A groupie call, you fall from temptation
Now you wanna ball over seperation
Tarnish my image in you conversation
Who you gon' scrimmage like you the champion
You might win some but you just lost one

You might win some but you just lost one
You might win some but you just lost one
You might win some but you just lost one
You might win some but you just lost one

Now, now how come your talk turn cold
Gained the whole world for the price of your soul
Tryin' to grab hold of what you can't control
Now you're all floss, what a sight to behold
Wisdoms is better than silver and gold
I was hopeless nowI'm on Hope road
Every man want to act like he's exemptWhen him need to get down o his knees and repent
Can't slick talk on the day of judgement
Your movement's similar to a serpent
Tried to play straight, how your whole style bent?
Consequence is no coincidence
Hypocrites always want to play innocent
Always want to take it to full out extent
Always want to make it seem like good intent
Never want to face it when it's time for punishment
I know that you don't wanna hear my opinion
But there come many paths and you must choose one
And if you don't change then the rain soon come
See you might win some but you just lost one

You might win some but you just lost one
You might win some but you just lost one
You might win some but you just lost one
You might win some but you just lost one

You might win some but you really lost one
You just lost one, it's so silly how come
When it's all done did you really gain from
What you done done, it's so silly how come
You just lost one

Now don't you understand man universal law
What you throw out comes back to you, star
Never underestimate those who you scar
'Cause karme, karma, karma comes back to you hard
You can't hold God's people back that long
The chain of Shatan wasn't made that strong
Trying to pretend like your word is our bond
But until you do right, all you do will go wrong
Now some might mistake this for just a simple song
And some don't know what they have 'til it's gone
Now even when you're gone you can still be rebornAnd, from the night can arrive the sweet dawn
Now, some might listen and some might shun
And some may thinkg that they've reached perfection
If you look closely you'll see what you've become
'Cause you might win some but you just lost one

You might win some but you just lost one
You might win some but you just lost one
You might win some but you just lost one
You might win some but you just lost one

You might win some but you really lost one
You just lost one, it's so silly how come
When it's all done did you really gain from
What you done done, it's so silly how come
You just lost one

change is good...

sometimes?..all the time?!

depending on you and what's your perspective on it?!

Sometimes when it happens ..we don't realize how it affects the people surrounding us. but what do we care as long as we are growing. that sounds pretty selfish but we as humans are selfish.

I personally think don't think I've changed. I know I've for a certain because people change as they grow.

Change Varies...though. certain people/surrounding changes.

change is for certain. in every aspect.

whether you like it or not. :\

Thursday, August 20, 2009

stay with you.-JL.


I don't know what it is . but it just doesn't ever seem to work with us. As bad as i want it to work or at least be friend the guy it just doesn't happen. As if we are particles that don't react too well with each other. like vinegar and water. maymuna and tomatoes. .[lol] sometimes i feel like if i can have anything at all it would be him and I HAPPY together..no fights no arguments. just our happy go lucky times.


If we can only let go of the pettiness and when communicating not get get angry i KNOW it would work. If both of us were mature enough to put our differences aside we could actually grow together.
since that isnt the case. we have to move on with our lives. sooner than later i'll let go.


They say "if you truly love something you should set it free and if it comes back to you you know its truly yours"



wishful thinking.

She lives in my lap.



Fotos!!


Wednesday, August 19, 2009

I should've cheated like Keyshia Cole

How can you accuse me of something you don't have proof of. You never seen me commit such a crime. I promised myself that I would never ever cheat on someone and i haven't. so i don't understand how someone can accuse me of it. just had too much love for you to disrespect you and there you go disrespecting me. hate me all you want if it makes you feel better. I hope at the end of the day you'll know you're lingering on to a lie that you choose to believe yourself.

I jsut dont understand how you said eminiem looked stupid for calling mariah all those things when you doing the same things. Dont go pointing fingers when you're guilty of the same thing.


but in all honestly if i cheated on you think i would still be around. I would be around whoever im so called cheating on with. You think id go extra lengths for you. I guess . it just hurts. and if that was your motive ding ding you won. you've hurt me once again.

I guess everything happens for a reason. and there is a reason for tonight.I dont know the reason but i guess i'll have to move on with my life.

I also believe in KARMA everything you have done to me KARMA will take care of it for me thats why I never tried to take revenge.I;ve thought about it but never in my life HAVE DONE IT.

positive sees negative DIE.

Its tuesday well its wednesday morning ;).
I feel good. feelin that feeling.
you know the one you just know everything it going to work out.

crazy good.

the tempation of the flesh.

I haven't seen you in x amount of days.
yes I missed you.
I know when we reunite.
God knows what will happen.
... we kinda do .
physical attraction like magnets.
..lacking self control.
sometimes its hard to resist.



Wait...
Honestly is it that hard..
it's all in the mind.

Friday, August 14, 2009

remember the times.

I remember ...

... when Mrs.Norris would always tell us to shush to the point she changed our seats.

...the first time we seen each other since Kenya and we stayed up till 5AM catching up.

.... when you gave me all that candy from Halloween.

.... when you told me I'd pass my DMV test.

... we would spend hours on the phone and id try to beat box and you would rap- good times-

... when you bought me a doughnut and y0u tried to give me yours and i was like i dont want it.

... we drove around finding a place to get my piercing but they were all closed .

... last but not least ... remember the good times we had @ Hastings High . The skating to the dancing ;) 143, forever.

memories I hold on to. :]

There is bad to every good & good to every bad[maybe] but I rather just reminisce about the G.O.O.D. The bad isn't going to do any justice. but the good reveals to me how much I appreciate them.


xoxom.un.axoxo

Monday, August 10, 2009

maymuna...

yes..

I hate

when

people



just be like




maymuna


maymuna this


maymuna that.

can you please refrain from saying my name.


Its not neccesary.
it makes me feel uncomfortable. Like im in trouble. jeez.

-------On a LiGHTERNOTE.


lets talk about my night being BAD.lol its not even bad.

Sun day was expectacular. I went to red lobster & movies afterwards came home at 12:46am . Wow MUNZY..where did you get those balls from honeypie?..I dont know they came out of no where. i didnt know i had it in me.Came home no problemo with the padre. Im pretty sure he isnt too pleased. but he needs to let go a little.

late at night.



I dont know why i do this but i do it well. Late at night thoughts come to mind. and i start going through my old email and inbox just to read what was going through my head and others. what was my conversation like and how was I living. some emails make me look at myself differently and some literally bring tears to my eyes. tears of joy. this certain email i read i recieved tue.. jan 01..2008. i was out of state.. First time i read it i cried. last time i read it icried. Its just soo beautiful never felt that way or someone feel that way about someone.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

143, LIFE.




Things are looking up past couple months has been very hard for maymuna. Dont ask why, or how. just know ive been fighting demons inside and out. my dreams did not come reality. but i have hope for the future. It's going to happen. I promise world. Dont underestimate.
Success is measured by the amount of struggles you overcome. I will overcome my struggles & succeed. a positive mindset is always needed in every situation!
Sometimes i can be negative. I dont even know im being negative until others bring to my attention. lately I've kept a smile on my face and tried my best to stay positive. gloomy days just bring rainy days...atleast for me. Speaking for m.un.a===>Sometimes rainy days are really good they help me cleanse my soul. After i let out a puddle i feel great. I smile after every puddle. back to my beautifully sketched blue print of life. Broken old habits...that helped me Digress. I let them out the window. good for me. Loooking forward to the future it can only gets better. it gets bad before it gets good. really... Im looking forward to this rollercoaster I'd like to call LIFe,143:)


keep youR spirit al.i.ve

Friday, August 7, 2009

fridays

I had a great one last friday. I had foood,ice cream, window shopping & fruitISTAs and good conversation. What happened today?...too bad my companion is in New York for a week. :(

lasting impression



in order thats all i listened to this summer. On Evolver i loved every single song. hands down i loved it. Anticipation put me to sleep and Loso's way kept me moving during the day!!

almost doesnt count.



Dear summer, I know you gon' miss me

For we been together like summmer skool and family visits
Gimme couple months , and we'll be back.

Oh my goodness
the summer is almost over. I cant believe this summer went by so fast. My goodness. I didn't get to go to Somalia like I wanted. Only if the conditions were better. Maybe next time. I went to summer school for one session. that flew by as well.My cousin came to visit that was fun. and now its Aug. so long summer.


Listen here summer baby, I just believe it's the right thing to do
Its a brand new season, Fall
we had fun together
so long summmer! :)

Wednesday, August 5, 2009